Monday, April 2, 2012

An Accidental Explanation

Since I have a couple few boatload of new followers, I thought a brief overview of the whole "Accidental" name might be in order.

I was never a particularly "girly" girl. I knew my fish knife from my pocket knife, my heels from my hiking boots, but I certainly knew which I preferred. It was a natural progession from a childhood of scouting to life in the Army. I had no aspirations of motherhood, but I knew for absolutely certain that I wanted to be a Company Commander, and I was well on my way.

There was, however, a spanner in the works. I had met a lovely young gentleman during our training. I knew he was a good egg - after a week-long food and sleep deprivation exercise he was still in my good books. That really takes serious chemistry and strong character! It took six long months before we were dating (which I mostly spent trying not to catch his eye in class, then furiously blushing when I did - and I am NOT usually a blusher) and another whole week for him to kiss me (I had to talk him into it!)

Fast forward a few years and you can find us engaged and planning a wedding. My career was gunning, I had been deployed, I was getting great reports and was well regarded. I was going to the top! But suddenly I was tired, so tired. And no matter how much I ran I just felt BLOATED. Of course, wise readers, being so in tune with your own selves and with the benefit of distance, you can probably guess what was happening. I just thought my body had gone nuts. I ran more, ate less, and tried not to nap at work. There was an upside, though, all that running helped me win the cross country for my age group...

It came to a head the Friday before a planned week of backcountry skiing. My tummy hurt, so I went to the doctor. He assessed my symptoms, then asked me (in a gorgeous Afrikaans accent) "Well, Miss Not-Yet-Accidental, what will you do if you are pregnant?" I answered blithely "oh Doc, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Three minutes later, and he burst back in... "We are at the bridge!!"

And so began a new chapter of my life. OUR life. My charming young gentleman, once he remembered that we were older than sixteen, financially solvent, and in a committed (engaged!) relationship, was ecstatic. (This realisation took all of three seconds, but it was very funny watching his face while he processed.)

And so eventually, after a wedding and a move, along came Peanut. My friends found it very amusing - had we voted five years ago I have no doubt I would have taken out the titles of "least maternal" and "least likely to breed". I know I did win the title of "biggest bloke" at my all girl high school. But, somehow, motherhood and housewifery just suited me. I had found my new niche. And so, when Peanut was born, so was the "Accidental" name.

I want to make very clear that although Peanut was technically an accident, she is the most wonderful accident since the discovery of penicillin. In the great battle of birth control versus antibiotics, there was one clear winner - me. I lost the flu and gained one of the great loves of my life. She has been adored since the first time I knew she existed.... a full fifteen weeks after she was conceived. ;)

Listen to your body, ladies! It might be announcing exceptional news!


  1. LOL! I was never the maternal type either. My husband and I had been together for 14 years and married for 6 years before we had our first child when I was 30! At some point in my late 20's I started thinking well when are we going to start a family, and we decided that if I didn't get clucky soon I would just have one when I'm 30! (Just seemed like a good age at the time) I got to 29 and thought, oowh I better start thinking about it, there's only a year to go!, and whallah, I turned 30 in Feb and my daughter was born in April. Three children later I never thought I'd be the housewife/motherly type, but I am. Funny how things work out isn't it.

  2. I know I say this all the time but I just love the way you write things. Thank you for giving me a much needed laugh and very cliche "awwwwww" and the thing where you know exactly what that person means where you are nodding at the screen like they can see you agreeing whole heartedly :)

  3. thank you for updating us new followers! I love the way you write!

  4. Lovely story, meant to for the fifteen weeks, how absolutely wonderful, did none of the countdown and none of the worrying about what week you were up to. My second m was like that..she was just there, no stressing...and she has been like it ever since...
    Sometimes motherhood strikes those we see as so unlikely, and those that motherhood seems a certain, it is the worst choice they huh, surprises around ever corner....

  5. I didn't think I was all that maternal either. I was all about the career. But here I am with an eight month old, loving it and seriously considering giving the career away for a few years. Life changes us unexpectedly and it's amazing.

  6. And what a great 'accident' she is.
    I recall the happy smiles and faces of both when you found out. And what a bridge it was.
    We love you for who you were and what you have become Miss and Mr Accident.

  7. Dammit Kylie, you made me cry...
    Thanks gorgeous :)

  8. Mrs A, I have read for a while, but I hadn't heard that awesome story! We are at the bridge! Mwahaha! Listening to my body right now could be troublesome though - it's saying the ultrasound is wrong but I know in my head it's right ... I don't want to go to the hassle of washing the wrong colour Wondersuits and socks!

    Kidding. A load of washing is easy. Thank goodness I'm not the "Paint-the-nursery-before-the-birth" type.

  9. Giv,

    You are now ordered to precede any post you make to me with "everything is ok..." because your wording there made my heart literally stop for a second. IT STOPPED. Glad it's just a gender branding crisis, and nothing serious.


  10. "My charming young gentleman, once he remembered that we were older than sixteen, financially solvent, and in a committed (engaged!) relationship, was ecstatic. (This realisation took all of three seconds, but it was very funny watching his face while he processed.) "
    I bet it was! Brilliant. That little tale made my morning.

  11. Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance! I have a question about your blog. HeatherVonsj(at)gmail(dot)com

  12. OK, so now I am totally smitten and rather obsessed.

    Would you (and Mr A) be interested in talking to me for my novel?

    I can provide further deets if you want to get back to me to help you decide if you'd like to.

  13. ha ha haaa!! Loved this post. And love that you would refer to our accent as gorgeous. Afrikaans people tend to think our accent in English is downright...silly. But so we do love other accents :-D

  14. Hi! Just stumbled upon your blog because I'm an Accidental Housewife as well, just in a different way! Great story, I can't wait to follow and learn more! :)

    - Abby