It makes me feel queasy and stressed. Being competitive is a curse. It makes me think that I need to work harder, network more, push my blog out there so I can be *successful* too.
And this is correlated to reading other amazing blogs, which stresses me out further, because I worry I will never be as widely read or witty as those writers, and thus I am doomed to total failure and I should just give up.
Or maybe I'm just not damaged enough for success? I'm not a disaster survivor, or carrying a mental illness, and all my kids are healthy. Do I swear enough? That also seems a prerequisite for success. Someone swore in a comment once, does that count?
But then I get to thinking. Properly thinking, not just mentally strolling along with the status quo. And I eventually, thankfully, finally remember that I don't blog for cash.
I have no advertisers. There is no one out there who will lose out if my post isn't on time, or if I have a week or even a whole month off. And I don't pitch for followers, either. It's absolutely lovely when they come, and I was even considering running a giveaway where you had to "follow me" to enter. Then I would get more followers, guaranteed... but of what quality? I love that The Accidental Housewife followers are people legitimately interested in the blog, not just hangers on, here for the swag. We are building a community of like-minded people.
So I'm pulling myself out of the blog vortex. It's not a competition, not a race to fame or fabulous fortune. The amount I would make from advertising is not worth the pressure to perform. The followers I buy are not worth the money spent. Airing my dirty laundry is not worth the impost on my family.
So I opt out.
I'm a free-blogger.
Feel free to join me.